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Walter is Rich is a story in which Walter the Softy becomes the most popular pupil in school after his father wins one million pounds in the lottery. It is split into two stories. The normal version features the three SOS members but the alternate version features the three U16 paedophiles.

PlotEdit

Dennis and Gnasher are playing in the park when Walter arrives in a happy mood. He tells Dennis that his daddy has just won a million pounds in the lottery and bought a gold-plated Cadillac. Dennis is shocked at this, and Walter tells everyone at school the next day. Dennis is not happy because everyone is so interested in Walter's wealth that they want to become his best friend. After unexpectedly meeting Mikuru Asahina in the toilets, he asks his two friends, Curly and Pie-Face, if they want to go out. They tell him that they're going to Walter's house now that he's a millionaire. Dennis gets even more annoyed when Walter writes his name into his invitation list.

At Walter's house, Walter is showing everyone all the stuff he has bought with his million pounds, including a large cuddly teddy bear named Mr. Snuggles, and a life-size glass statue of himself, which he calls "one of a kind". Dennis gets so excited when Haruhi Suzumiya, the leader of the SOS brigade, arrives that he accidentally knocks the glass statue over, smashing it!!! Walter screams so loudly that he loses his temper with Dennis, and yells the word "nincompoop"! His mumsie hears this, and punishes Walter by grounding him forever and sending all the stuff that he had bought with his million pounds to the landfill. Walter tries to get Dennis into trouble, but Dennis acts innocent and tells Walter's mumsie that it was an accident. Walter is sent to his room in disgrace, as his mumsie thanks Dennis for telling the truth and rewards him with some chocolate cake. Just then, the third SOS member to appear, Yuki Nagato, appears, and Dennis faints with surprise.

However, it goes awry when the SOS members reveal themselves to be the three U16 members, Rolf Harris, Sir Jimmy Savile and Stuart Hall and they rape Dennis.

Alternate storyEdit

Dennis and Gnasher are frolicking in the park when Walter arrives in an aroused mood. He tells Dennis that his daddy has just won a million pounds in the lottery and bought a gold-plated Cadillac. Dennis is shocked at this, and Walter tells everyone at school the next day. Dennis is not happy because everyone is so interested in Walter's wealth that they want to become his best friend. After unexpectedly "meeting" Sir Jimmy Savile in the toilets, he asks his two friends, Curly and Pie-Face, if they want to go out. They tell him that they're going to Walter's house now that he's a millionaire. Dennis gets even more annoyed when Walter writes his fantasies into his invitation list.

At Walter's house, Walter is showing everyone all the stuff he has bought with his million pounds, including a large cuddly teddy bear named Heroin Bill, and a life-size glass statue of his urethra, which he calls "wang of a kind". Dennis gets so excited when Rolf Harris, the leader of the U16 Brigade, arrives that he accidentally knocks the glass statue over, smashing it!!! Walter moans so loudly that he loses his temper with Dennis, and yells the word "you fucking prick! I'm gonna fuck up you piece of shit"! His MILF hears this, and punishes Walter by grounding him forever and sending all the stuff that he had bought with his million pounds to the "Vietnamese Children with Missing Limbs Centre". Walter tries to get Dennis into trouble, but Dennis acts innocent and hits on Walter's hot, sexually frustrated mother.. Walter is sent to his room in disgrace, as his mum thanks Dennis for telling the truth and rewards him by getting on her knees and sharing the wealth of her flute knowledge. Just then, the third U16 member to appear, Stuart Hall, appears, and Dennis passes out due to the former entertainer's chloroform aftershave.

TriviaEdit

  • This is probably related to the Rugrats episode "Chuckie is Rich" because Chaz gets a glass elephant, which Stu accidentally breaks at the end. This is similar to Walter having a glass duplicate of himself.
  • Dennis meets all three SOS members in the story (Haruhi, Mikuru, Yuki), and gets surprised.
  • Mikuru is usually shy, but in this story, she isn't.
  • This story features Walter getting punished at the end, but Walter isn't usually punished as he is always well-behaved.
  • Mikuru is the only SOS member to have a speaking role in the story.